There's a really important first step that needs to happen when you decide you want change in your life. It's something that is often forgotten.
This step is: believing it's actually possible.
Change is really hard to make when you don't believe that it's possible.
It might sound so simple and obvious that it seems unworthy of even thinking about, but, I've found and maybe you too, that sometimes the most simple truths are the most profound.
So stop for a second, and really think about it.
Whatever you're wanting for yourself - do you truly believe that you can have it? (Awesome, go get it!)
Or is there some part of you that is secretly believing that it's never going to happen?
We do this to protect ourselves from getting our hopes up too high. Sometimes we want something for so long that we give up on actually thinking it could happen. We don't want to be hurt or disappointed.
But this part of us that is unwilling to believe is actually holding us back from the change we want to create.
I'll give you a simple example from my own life.
One change I want in my life is that I want to sleep earlier, so that I can wake up earlier and be more aligned with the natural world and sunlight.
Though I genuinely want this, I have also been for as long as I can remember, someone who does not like going to bed at night. The child in me stubbornly wants to stay up.
So, I can already tell that part of me thinks, "Oh, that's a great goal. I would love that. But it will never happen, because I'm just not that type of person."
And THAT is the most fatal type of thought if you're trying to create change.
I have to look at those beliefs, and shift them.
I have to recognize that if I truly want to live my life in a new way, I have to be willing to give up my existing reality, and believe that a new one is completely, doubtlessly possible.
The new thought might sound something like, "Though I don't do this now, I know I am capable of sleeping and waking up early, and I believe it can happen."
This kind of thinking makes space for and welcomes the change into your life, and mentally prepares you for it. It opens the door to a new possibility.
I see similar patterns of hidden doubt happening all the time when people want something - people who want to leave a job, or move to a new place, or launch a new project.
Until you can fully believe something is possible, you are going to keep getting in your own way. Your actions are going to have little invisible traces of doubt. And it’s going to sabotage your efforts without you even being aware of it. If you’re not fully convinced that something is even possible, it will be really easy to just give up when things start getting challenging, instead of seeing it as part of the process.
So find that part of yourself, whatever part is not fully convinced that you can have what you want. Find a way to make peace with it, and let go of the limiting doubts. Let yourself fully believe change is possible.
Of course it's not as simple as just wishing everything into being. I may love the woo-woo ways, but I still believe in the active roles we must take in bringing about a more fulfilling life. And still, it all starts here. First believe. Like really actually believe.
(PS. I believe in you too!)